I once lived in a neighborhood called Arrowroot Ranch where the residents were so clique‑ish that my household and I barely knew anyone beyond a polite wave, if even that! People kept to their own circles, and newcomers like us remained on the outside looking in. So, it came as a surprise one morning when my best friend returned from the mailbox with a story that would become our own neighborhood legend.
My best friend said to me one cool June morning that as he stepped outside to collect the mail, he was greeted by a stranger standing in the driveway next door with an oversized coffee mug in his hand. He was an unshaven man who wore sandals with knee socks, shorts with an elastic band (or were they swimming trunks?), and a faded red bathrobe left wide open that left nothing to the imagination. The robe flapped in the breeze just enough to reveal a bare, hairy beer‑belly gut spilling over the waistband of his shorts. It was, to put it mildly, an unexpected sight before lunch.
We eventually learned that this man was the new owner of the house next door. We nicknamed him “Cousin Eddie,” partly because he reminded us of the madcap trailer-living cousin in those Hollywood “Vacation” movies and partly because the name suited him in a way we couldn’t quite explain. It was affectionate nomenclature, in its own odd and funny way.
Cousin Eddie had an ever‑changing cast of characters living with him, and they were most likely renters. Two of them we came to know by nickname alone: “Turban” and “Lady Godiva.” Turban earned her name honestly; she used to wear a turban every day while sitting on a lawn chair in the driveway, talking loudly on her cell phone as though the entire neighborhood needed to hear her side of the conversation. Lady Godiva, on the other hand, was waiting for her new house to be built, and she was seen popping in and out of her car she parked at the curb. Why we called her Lady Godiva is lost to memory, though it probably had something to do with her long hair and her tendency to dress… scantily.
Cousin Eddie himself was a snowbird. From October to April, he lived next door, and from May through September he returned to the forested backwoods of northern Wisconsin. Each year he hauled his Harley in the bed of his pickup truck, making the long trek north like a migrating bird with chrome handlebars.
When he was in residence at Arrowroot Ranch, we always knew it. Almost every morning, he fired up the Harley and roared off, returning only when the sun was low. If he wasn’t riding, he was making noise of another kind; running a jigsaw, grinding rust off his patio furniture, or operating some screeching electrical tool that echoed down the street to the next cul-de-sac. I had heard that inside his house, he kept several mounted animal heads, deer, elk, and who knows what else, along with a full‑sized pool table planted right in the middle of his living room.
Turban and Lady Godiva added their own flavor to the daily soundtrack. Turban’s phone calls could be heard from three houses away, and Lady Godiva drifted in and out like a character from a half‑remembered dream, always on her way to somewhere else and constantly talking to someone if they were within earshot.
Yet when Cousin Eddie packed up and headed back to Wisconsin each spring, the neighborhood changed. The tools went silent, the Harley’s rumble faded. Yet, for a while, everything felt calmer— almost too calm, as if the street itself were holding its breath. Turban’s driveway monologues continued more loudly into the warm air. One winter Lady Godiva was gone. Another renter showed up, this time it was a man, and we never really saw him, except when an ambulance was called one morning and he was laying half covered on the gurney.
Every now and then, just after dusk, we’d catch something odd: the faint smell of gasoline drifting from next door through the clump of cacti, or the distant whine of a jigsaw even though no one was outside. Once, my best friend swore he saw a bathrobe flutter past the mailbox, though no one was outside in the wild stormy wind that heralded an approaching rare thunderstorm. We told ourselves it was imagination, the leftover noise from a noisy neighbor.
But sometimes, on those quiet nights at Arrowroot Ranch when the crickets paused and the streetlamps flickered on, it felt as though Cousin Eddie hadn’t really left— that he only stepped sideways into some unseen corner of the neighborhood, waiting for October to roll around so he could wander back into view like he’d never been gone at all, where he’d shuffle back into view with his faded bathrobe flapping open and his sandals slapping the pavement like he’d never left.. Even now, years later, there are evenings when the air shifts strangely, and for a split second the street feels off‑kilter, the purple mountains standing sentry in the background, as if waiting for someone to step back into it. In those moments, I think that I hear the faint slap of sandals on pavement, coming from nowhere in particular, as though Cousin Eddie is still wandering around, looking for a mailbox that isn’t his anymore.
Susan Marie Molloy 