Category: lessons in hypocrisy

A Tart in the Making.

A Lesson in Modesty.

One afternoon a long time ago, when I discovered that the Stankles’ daughter had left her wet “M” on the condominium elevator floor (see my essay, “The Mark of Mordechi”), I also noticed another troubling pattern taking shape.

About a week later, as she walked through the lobby, this twelve‑year‑old was dressed in a way that was startlingly immodest for a child her age.  What shocked me was not merely the barely-there-bikini itself, but the contradiction behind it.  An exposed belly button with floss for bottoms and the top just covering the nips.  That’s it.

Her father is a “preacher” in a community fellowship.  Her mother teaches in a Christian school.  One would expect that parents who publicly live a life of Sunday preaching and Christian schooling would guide their own children toward modesty, dignity, and respect for themselves and others, particularly since it’s all laid out in the Bible.

If these parents claim to follow God’s laws, which includes the call to modesty, why is their daughter being sent into public areas dressed in ways that undermine or ignore those very teachings?

It was hard not to miss the wide disconnect.  The preacher man and his wife presented themselves as righteous leaders in public, yet the example they set within their own household tells a very different story.  They were rude and cold around people when it’s only them without the others, but the moment another Stankle appeared beside them, the transformation was instantaneous.  Suddenly it was All Christian, All the Time: doors held open, cheerful greetings, syrupy small talk, and enough forced sunshine to blind a person.  As a group, they radiated a kind of performative wholesomeness.  Alone, each one reverted to something far less Christian.

It does not come across as practicing what is being preached with a “Glory Halleluiah” on the stage every Sunday and Wednesday.

That is the deeper sorrow of it all; when those who are entrusted with shaping young souls fail to live the very virtues they proclaim, the child becomes the one who bears the confusion.  A home that should be a sanctuary of positive formation instead becomes a place of mixed messages.  I prayed that Maddee grows into a someone who has a clearer understanding of modesty and faith, and that her brother follows the righteous way, too.  But even more, I pray that her parents rediscover the integrity their public roles demand.  For the sake of their daughter, and for the sake of the witness they offer to the rest of us, I hope they all find their way back to the truth they profess and convert.

 

0

Loose Trash and Looser Rules.

When I lived at the Sage Pointe Condominiums, the truth was simple: there were no real rules.  The Declaration contained only a handful of vague guidelines, none of which carried penalties, financial or otherwise.  In practice, nothing had any teeth; no bite.

What we did have was the Infractions Team, a small group of older ladies who enforced whatever they personally disliked.  If something offended their sensibilities, it instantly became a “rule,” and the offending neighbor was told to cease and desist.  Their grievances ranged from the trivial to the absurd, such as declaring certain bumper stickers on residents’ cars to be violations simply because the messages clashed with their unholy beliefs.  Those errant residents were then threatened with legal action.

Meanwhile, these same enforcers stored their own holiday decorations, bicycles, and medical equipment in the common-area closets with complete impunity. They walked their dogs off the leash.  They grilled pork chops on their balconies with open flames.  They filled staircases with their potted plants.  No reprimands.  No consequences.  No surprise.  It was the classic Rules for Thee and Not for Me dynamic, and everyone knew it.

One of the few written directives concerned garbage disposal.  For years, printed signs were taped to the garbage-room doors in the underground garage.  They instructed residents to place all trash in securely tied plastic bags and to dispose of furniture and large items privately, never in the dumpsters.

As the buildings filled with more residents (there was an ebb and flow with the population), the dumpsters began overflowing just two days after pickup.  At a homeowners’ association meeting, a member of the Care and Upkeep Team scolded the community for tossing unbagged trash and furniture into the dumpsters.  The remarks were recorded in the official minutes.

A couple of weeks later, I went down to throw out my own securely bagged garbage.  I glanced into the dumpster, and there it was.  A mountain of loose junk: files, hanging folders, workbooks, an American flag, Navy memorabilia, and other unbagged débris.  Because the book titles were visible, it was unmistakably the personal clutter of the very same Care and Upkeep Team member who had lectured everyone else about dumping unbagged garbage!

It was a perfect illustration of the deleterious culture at Sage Pointe: rules for thee and not for me.  Others were expected to follow the posted guidelines.  Certain individuals, however, exempted themselves entirely.

They were special!

 

0

Website Built with WordPress.com.

Up ↑