Susan Marie Molloy

Life in the Oasis


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If Custer Survived The Little Big Horn

Last night, I was cleaning out my phone’s Kindle app, deleting book samples, and determining which books will be on my Christmas vacation reading list. When I came across the following book titles (see screenshot below), I saw General George Armstrong Custer‘s book, “My Life in Pants.”

Really?

That’s what I get for scanning and glossing over something like this when I’m tired—

Then again, it could be the start of a twisted fantasy history tale of Custer in the tailoring or dry cleaning business after he left the Army.

 

©2017 Susan Marie Molloy and all works within.

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The Effigy

Movie still from “The Mummy” (1932) with Boris Karloff and Zita Johann.

I reached to close the blinds in my dining room. Twice I looked at the house across the street. I moved a little to the left, my eyes fixed on the shape. There, in the window, between the blinds’ slats, I spied a distinct silhouette of broad shoulders and a head wrapped in ragged cloth.   A mummy!  An effigy of a mummy hanging from the ceiling! Or was it the twilight’s light and shadows playing tricks on my eyes?

My beau, seeing me with a puzzled look, surveyed the window across the street.

“Yep, it looks like a mummy.” He rubbed his chin. “Maybe it’s her dead husband.”

Life continued. Summer turned to fall. Winter melted into spring. And the effigy dangled in the window.

One late afternoon, I happened to see the neighbor from across the street with the mummy in her window.  She was at the end of her driveway in her leopard robe, white slacks, brown fuzzy slippers, and dark sunglasses. I called to her and walked over. After some general pleasantries, I asked about the hanging effigy in her window.

“Oh, that!” she whispered. She turned a pasty-white, bony hand towards her window. “It’s a North African fertility statue. It’s bolted to a post on the floor.”

And so, my inquisitiveness was satisfied. There was no dead, mummified husband hanging from the ceiling.

Or so she said.

©2017 Susan Marie Molloy and all works in between.


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Thirteen Things That Give Me the Heebie Jeebies (In No Particular Order)

Here are some random thoughts, thought about yesterday:

• Eels. On a plate.
• Fried Twinkies®.
• Live cockroaches.
• Mother-son dates.
• Fried Snickers® bars.
• Laws against Nature.
• Father-daughter dates.
• Bandwagon jumpers-on.
• Huge basement centipedes.
• Predators – the human type.
• Lake water with floating seaweed.
• Headcheese, when seen very close-up.
• Raspberries, for same reason as headcheese.

Slice of headcheese. Love the taste, but the look of the sliced tongue gives me the heebie jeebies.
Image from Google.

©2017 Susan Marie Molloy and all works within.


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Jim

There’s a bare spot outside on the house that needs a little something by the front door. I was thinking something along the lines of a little piece of art, some sort of attractive filler that helps to define the house, set it apart from the expected and mundane, yet still be tasteful and surprising.

First, I came across this screaming gem:

It’s funny, it made me laugh, it would cheese off the neighbors, and then I thought twice.

No, not this one.

Angels. Sun faces. Fairies.  Dragons.  Keep going, I thought.  A few pages later, I found it:

Bacchus. The Roman god of the woodlands and wine. Yes, he would be The One.

I showed my beau, and he was on board. “That’s great.  It’s Bacchus.  Let’s get it!”

“And then, you know what we should do?”

“What?”

“Let’s put a sign under him that says, ‘Jim.’  Get it?  ‘Jim’” as I waved my hand slowly as if pulling out another name.

My beau’s lips began to curl into a smile, but he was bewildered.

Then I blurted it out. “As in Jim Backus.  Bacchus, Backus.”

My beau burst into laughter and laughed until tears formed in his eyes about the pun.

Our Jim Bacchus should arrive sometime next week.

Jim Backus, Actor.

• To read about Jim Backus the actor, who appeared in movies such as Pat and Mike (1952), Rebel without a Cause (1955), It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World (1963), the voice of cartoon character Mister Magoo (1949-89), and who starred in television shows such as I Married Joan (1952-55), and Gilligan’s Island (1964-67), and so much more, click HERE.  

©2017 Susan Marie Molloy and all works in between.


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Sleeve of Crackers

Estate sales. They are similar to garage or yard sales, but different.

Usually, the owner(s) of the items in an estate sale is no longer around, and someone else is running the show. At garage or yard sales, the owners are right there with you to haggle with prices. “Seventy-five cents for this garden shovel? I’ll give you twenty-five!”

Recently, I breezed through several estate sales in my neck of the woods. Each offered something different: one had some fabulous kitchenware, another touted newer furniture, and one offered dental floss, first aid tape, and a sleeve of Saltine® crackers.

I wish I took a picture of the sleeve of crackers. Take my word for it: There was a naked sleeve of Saltine® crackers nestled between a coffee mug and a knife, sitting on the kitchen counter. No, it wasn’t even in the box. Asking price: Twenty-five cents.

Never have I ever seen something like that for sale. Somehow, I just wouldn’t trust its freshness, age, or bug-free quality.

©Susan Marie Molloy and all works within.